January 10th 2018
.. broke some news today with karson messaging me again today about the QA position and if we get started with training now i’d be up to speed within 3 - 4 months but the position won’t be available fully for another 6 - 8 months >
meaning i should have picked this up and should be doing the testing > vetting bugs > updating stories > testing features and writing reports on them before going live on a small scale; to see how i do over the next x months.
personally for myself, this is something that caught my attention and i want to look into this further so i know all the scopes or most of it and have questions to have in line with who/what i want to do when i have my conversation with them..
i’ve generally been a pretty roll with it kind of person, but i need to do more research into this, read more about this, see what technical skills, skills i need.. and apply myself from there..
i’ve pretty lazy person relying on my self of thinking i can get by; by just being me which means just doing enough and thinking that its all good.. but thats not how it should be > if you have your attention on something > look into > read > research > dive > all of yourself into it and see if its something you really want..
i think i’ve always been afraid of not being efficient or good enough per say so i don’t put all my effort into it - letting people think hes pretty smart but he doesn’t apply himself, i want to change that narrative where i’m a person who has some talent but also applies themselves and tries really hard and is open to learning..
i really want to thank them if i get the opportunity to really pursue this position - after speaking to kelton about them hiring our (2) new developers there were over 500 applicants. and honestly i’m sure there would be so many capable and better suited applicants to apply for the QA postion; i’ve realized this and this is why i dont want this to be something where they don’t think im taking this serious.
so i want to put maximum effort into this; going to research about it even more and just be open with everyone and really dive into bettering processes..
the continuous growth.. working my present self to be my future self..
dont ever be afraid to ask why/what if you don’t know the answer - you showing you don’t know and are willing to take that it speaks more than you nodding your head and playing along..
thats all, lifes good, goodnight world.
January 9th 2018
hmmmmmm………… a really weird day overall perhaps but not really, just a lot of things i wasn’t expecting happened > came in today and karson came up to me and lucas messaged me about me being interested in QA i let both know that i am interested so now me and lucas have a meeting together next week about installing CF and PR testing.. which is going to be super sick..
karson came up to me and asked me about QA itself but i directed the question so whats happening monday so now he’s taking off a half day on monday but honestly it wasn’t a big deal to me, i told him i’d like to just go for breakfast; i let him know that january 14ths actually my birthday haha and then he made a calendar event.. this dudes hilarious.
from here works been super slow worked and tagged some design ideas but i need to be really working on my dropbox paper for the laneway house interior ideas; ive solidified some of the major things i’m looking for and want.. its been this years been looking up..
with what happened yesterday, nothing much of it came up today, its just a normal thing don’t over think > just go about it’ its all good mates, life moves forward and we progress.
also will be in CALIFORNIA from 22/23 - 27th i believe i don’t know the exact dates but i might be back the friday i’m not sure what’s going to happen i dont think i’ll be here but who knows - i’d like to be back to attend new years at renfrew community center to spend with friends and family i haven’t seen in awhile.
its cool my relationship with my parents and sister are progressing well; let them know i’ll be leaving to california for work and my dad says you should always be attending these, don’t stay home, i guess the whole whats your availability? and its availability. if that makes any sense meaning that you are always available..
lifes good. just be consistent, breaks are good, but know what you want to do; i’m being given the opportunity to learn and i want to take full vantage of this. lets do this, goodnight world its going great, lets keep it up.
January 8th 2019
man over the past couple posts ive been writing december 208 instead of january 2019 which is something i’m still working on.. interestingly enough today my year end goal for 2019 and going into 2020 was to be in a QA position..
had a work meeting with my manager today and she brought up about how the team will be changing with new openings with our team.. carisen will be moving to the product side .. tim will be moving to dev ops.. and there is a QA position open.. not sure exactly what this will entail but my manager thought about me when this was announced to her..
from - since she’s been here i’ve conveyed to her that this is something i wanted to do and interested in where i can write reports, tests, manual tests, and write reports again on my findings.. its something i enjoy, this is one small step in that direction and i’m going to work towards this goal of being QA.
with this happening i can slowly transition into different roles and learn more stuff from the technical side which opens up a lot of new doors and venues and allows me to check off one of my goals for this coming year..
funny thing happened at work today; at the end a couple of the guys asked me to lock the door and leave or something but a co worker was still behind so i decided to stay back and chat and leave with andrea since we walk the same route home and on the way home our other co workers were just standing there chatting and then said how come you didn’t leave when we asked you to after locking the door - in my mind i was like what? and said i just locked the door after .. and then i didn’t really respond didn’t know how to respond but i was just there waiting for andrea to leave too which i probably should’ve said..
but it got a little awkward or i got nervous and was like are they trying to imply something to her? and that really threw me off and i didn’t know what to say to andrea after.. and when we got to the train station i just said peace see you tomorrow hahahaha man.. don’t wish things were easier; be better; be prepared; don’t be embarassed; speak the truth on how you felt, why you felt.. it speaks more to who you are as an individual when you have your own stance on things..
because right now i feel like an ape for not responding properly and now they probably think i have feelings for andrea or something like that but i could honestly be over thinking this but thats just my impression - this feelings going to pass and its all good. life goes on..
have a basketball game today at 8:00pm first game in awhile i’m going to be nervous/anxious actually.. its good that alivias playing, i honestly really wouldn;t play on this team if it wasn’t for her since shes the only other girl who really knows how to play basketball ..
other than that, work news was probably one of the best news i’ve gotten and damn it’s nice to know we’re trending in that direction and i’ve been working on getting this laneway house project flowing for this month.. especially need to get some numbers on the deck removal..
that is all so goodnight world and lets be better; at everything don’t wish it was easier - be better > work to be better > be embarrassed but be you and truthful thats most important.
January 7th 2018
no work today; feels good - went to the gym had a pretty good workout ran some errands.. played some games.. really relaxed today and did lots of home stuff and had to make some payments to ICBC for my speeding ticket and my fucking premium for my ticket back in 2017.
hmm.. not sure what else really happened besides some final fantasy.. watching some friends.. and watching alabama get roasted in the finals, first time ever seeing them get killed like that.. but its sports and the number 1 seed never wins.
been slow.. in terms of blogging.. calling it a night - goodnight world.
January 6th 2018
family party last night - did very VERY little cleaning because i left early this morning for basketball, nice to see everyone get some good runs in and just get a sweat again, something about having a good run in the morning and feeling healthy..
from here i went to the gym after did some chest / arm workout ran into gurjeet had a quick chat and a few others pretty good workout actually i’m feeling good and my mind is still about is what im doing today going to impact my future self in a good way.
going to watch some football today, eat chill out, play some games, do some readings, and learn some japanese.. not much really planned but i should’ve gone to boxing (could’ve gone as well) hopefully next week it’ll workout now.
that’s pretty much it and chatted about andrea watching marie kondo haha seems like an interesting show to watch. that is all goodnight world, not sure what im going to eat for dinner but i kind of want a sandwhich but we’ll see so its a wrap.
January 5th 2018
worked at home today as it was saturday nothing much besides a little busy in the morning feels like its going to die out for the rest of the day, woke up exhausted.. parents having a family party at home and we got some playoff football baby..
noticed my computer has been completely just not working as it should be, sudden crashes - sudden freezing.. made some changes cleaned up the cpu a bit and removed some power from the power bar and hit it up with some diagnostics but we’ll see how this goes over the next day or so.
re-arranged my desk, moved a few things around, cleaned up the closet, going give away items i don’t need to my little cousin, cleaned my drawers the other day that was cool after feeling a bit clean and more organized.
not sure what the plans are tonight, might go boxing tomorrow or basketball depending what happens but basketball seems like a good fit and then see if boxing can take place monday morning instead because i want to shoot some hoops.. but i also want to do some boxing but then we have basketball again on tuesday for multi sport and i need to send some money as well.. what i really need is some new basketball shoes..
just going to prep for tomorrow and see what happens but it’ll be nice eating some good food today at home and just continue to keep my mind on the right track of where i want to be/go - just keep progressing each and every day. 1% better, consistently 1% better, commitment and discipline.
thats all and goodnight world.
January 4th 2018
mm… better dieting past few days, read some books, gym consistently, need to pay some bills.. things are looking on track got my shaver running again with my power cord back
cleaned up at work today for our ceo visit and chilled and chatted with co workers - stayed after work to help andrea with the last bit of things went to the gym after did some walking for 15 minutes lmfao not going again on fridays its just so busy there..
came home chilled.. think my computers broken; its probably time to move on from it and get a new personal laptop for myself or something because im not using that desktop anymore man.. keeps crashing and freezing (mostly freezing) well thats all so goodnight world, im tired and im taking a break today.
January 3rd 2018
uhm its been a really slow and relaxing few weeks from the holidays and just slowly getting back into work rhythm - worked at home today went to the gym did some back, deadlifts got some extra motivation today at the gym, saw a cutie today - something happened though some guy went up to her and sort of gave her advice and he sort of started with i’m not a export or anything..
i don’t know if thats the best approach but you should be more inclined to start by saying i saw you lifting like X and i used to lift like that also but Y pointed out i should be doing it like Z so i’m just passing on the knowledge.. maybe she finished her workout after that but she disappeared after he mentioned to her how to do X workout.
i give the guy credit for going up to her and giving her advice on how to lift properly; maybe she took it the wrong way where she thinks hes hitting on her, but in all honesty he could just be caring (i dont think so, i think he’ was interested just from my take) but it shows that its hard to chat with anyone at the gym, people come into the gym with a set goal of exercises to do.
with that being said, this doesn’t deter me from speaking to gym girl, she’s still on the list of things to do before being crossed (not her) but the action of asking her out. honestly just be confident and think about how you’d like to be approach in that position.
feel like people are starting to slack at work or something.. feel like i’ve taken on most of the work today but thats just my feeling we’ll see how it goes over the next couple of days - all in all, off to yoga today back in rhythm of my schedule and exercising, writing early blogs so i can go home shower, and read and sleep after and begin my starts to exercising.
that is all; goodnight world.
January 2nd 2018
i stand before you a champion, not really i’m just messing but yeah i woke up this morning called in sick, picked up annee and joon from seattle airport .. made it a lot sooner than expected we drove home before this we had some lunch in seattle, chatted with joon about japan and other things he gave me his boxing gloves and tapes because ya fucking boi is going to be taking up boxing lessons to knock some people out; jokes not going to knock anyone out just interested in getting more cardio in and boxing is something i think i’d be pretty good at - and then i’m going to find out i completely suck LMFAO its okay 1% rule, be better each day.
what i read the last couple of days really hit me about being better 1% each day, building momentum and just getting started and see the trajectory go because if you don’t start, you’ll never go anywhere, and its easier to continue something in bits than to start something up again. i’ve been asking myself consistently again today is what i am doing benefiting future me? or am i only satisfying present me. this has been super important because i’ve been taking/changing my actions based off how i answer these questions; because i’m answering on do these answers align with how i see myself in X amount of years.
watched some youtube video with dad about a Japanese wife and Vietnamese husband living in Tokyo; and the husband shared some insight on how we can learn from Japanese people in their way of thinking (selfless thoughts) this was super cool, i think my dad see’s how interested i am into Japanese culture - he asked me if i was able to get by in japan and i said i could, i can confidently say i’m pretty sure i can, im just embarrassed to speak Japanese but i shouldn’t be, just have to practice and don’t be afraid because being afraid now isn’t aligned with who i want to be in the future so be strong.
went to the gym, going to pick this up consistently again - regardless of how busy it is, i’m feeling super good and i’ll just keep reminding myself am i working towards the future self if not im changing my actions.. lets work hard in 2019 and progress everyday into where i want to be in the next year. making strides, making strides. goodnight world its been great, hard, everything.
January 1st 2019
i can’t believe its already been a year and im starting my 2019 blog. this year - well this last year was really interesting with lots of things happening, different thoughts, and a lot of self reflecting but its been good and im ‘looking forward to this year. no need to really talk about what happened the past couple days or NYE but yeah it was nice to have everyone around and spend time with them.
one thing that really stood out was that my parents (well my dad) said you should do this once a year to have everyone over, i feel like my parents think i’m alone or don’t have friends because they haven’t seen all of my friends here like that; but i think they want me to have what they have and something they do consistently is that they always hang out in big groups every week.. one family will host something once a month it seems like or twice a month because my parents are usually never home on the weekend which is such an amazing thing and i tell people all the time my parents party more than i do; we do. but they just hang out with each other, their closer, smaller, more knit, from a small community in a different country, and how else better spent than with your friends from your childhood days.. i want to carry this what my parents have done.. building community, friendship, bonds with the people around me / an organism.. of sorts.
lets talk about january 1st, woke up early cleaned up the rest of the house with my parents - love them for this, no complaints about anything just cleaned up and i woke up the moment i heard them get up because i don’t want them cleaning up my mess, i need to be held accountable for having friends over, but the crazy thing was my friends cleaning up after and telling my parents they’ll stay and clean when my parents kept telling them its okay; its nice.
we went to have some food after santouka, me - che - dharell - colin then stopped by dq for some smoothes and then we called it a day. i don’t really know what happened after i played some dota games did some readings.. took a short nap.. gearing myself up to pick up annee and joon tomorrow from the airport in SEATTLE. it’ going to be a long fun solo trip, but its all good’ i’d do this for my friends, so i’ll do it for my sister, shes family, we share the same blood, and if i can help i’ll help even though i’ll be calling in sick tomorrow for this haha, its all good. its just work..
read some good stuff from the medium, a good right.. taught me a lot, the rocking chair.. procrastination.. fear.. not laziness.. changing habits.. defining clear goals.. all these things.. i’m feeling good and trending towards good things.. i think this year i’m going to be shutting down from social media now.. going to be deleting my instagram laying off social media. well not deleting im not going to open that app anymore man.. for the rest of the month. thats all man, goodnight world, we’re shutting it down.
December 31st 2018
i can’t believe, well maybe its not i can’t believe that we’re already ending the year of 2018. it came by quick, this year has taught me a lot, most importantly is to show appreciation and love for the people around you.
in one hand i feel like i lost a lot of friendships, not lost.. in that way entirely but i lost a lot of close connections and built friendships i had with certain people. honestly i was taken back by it; didn’t really know how to feel. i always knew that this day or moment would come eventually but its just so different when it finally happens to you.
you think you’re able to handle the circumstances and better yourself but man, its a lot tougher than you anticipate. but damn. this years been huge, i’ got to learn a lot about dealing with others - finished a book i really wanted to finish before the new year, making strides into this new year which is also important.
i only talk about the lost of friendships because honestly, that was probably the biggest thing that happened to me this year. it hurt me a lot, to know your best friends we’re taken and they simply just aren’t there from what you are accustomed too.. that was rough..
i don’t want to dwell on what happened this year because honestly so much good happened this year, i got my laneway house approved, got learn python from emilio, made really good connections with my co-workers(friends), blogged lots, started my own brand among-st friends and this is continuing, traveled to japan and spain, discovering myself and what/who i am, really am.
connected with my family even further, built a bridge for myself and my sister to recover what was lost and honestly that was actually the biggest thing thinking back, i thought losing friendships was big, but my sister and myself connecting again and building our foundation friendship and trust has been huge.. honestly i want to thank colin, i know i couldve but it’s important to hear it from someone else who has a sibling and understands the dynamics - obviously my sisters and his sister are different but he put the bigger scope into perspective which was huge..
im going to wrap up 2018 with one final thing and honestly its a goodnight world, we’ve moving on and working towards what we need too.. so lets keep working and don’t be afraid to be who you are, because who you are makes you who you are; its done. 2019 here we begin, i’ll begin my blogs for 2019 also. looking back at these end of year reviews will be so important and impact to my life one day. working backwards i know what i want for this coming year, even the next couple years. i have a plan(more so a goal in mind). boys to men.
December 30th 2018
man we’re rounding up to the end of the year.. stayed at home today ate some food.. didn’t spend money.. finished my first book in awhile.. damn feels really good and this book has taught me a lone.. that my story still be written, its not written yet.
i’m still writing and i need to keep working towards it; but the best way is to ask myself what do i want by next year?
1. new job (junior developer/QA)
2. fluently speak japanese
3. be 14% body fat (not sure what i’m currently at right now)
4. have a girlfriend
5. finish 12 books (one every month)
6. improve posture
7. show more passion (loving for friends and family)
8. all leading to confidence within myself.
all things are not in order, but these are the things i’m looking to work towards in 2019. i’ll be turning the big 28 baby lets go. i’ll be posting this again after the new year also. i can’t believe its been a year of postings already; i sort of slowed down at the end but i have to finish strong now.
goodnight world. that book really helped and i’ll continue to read as all life experiences can be enjoyed through a novel because we don’t live it all, but here we can learn through words of others and imagining ourselves there.
December 28th & 29th
dude its a wash.. played some dotes, worked, chatted with co workers.. nothing much man.. had some motivation moments.. falling back but i know i shouldn’t be.. big day for sports actually too..
bama vs. oak
clem vs. nd
we’ll see how these games go and my parents are out the next couple days; they aren’t working NYE which is cool - have some time for themselves and wanted my parents to take care of their health after experiencing nestors dad being positive for cancer.. man really take care of yourself and time is short and cherish every moment.
spoke to my dad about his health, asked how he was doing with his finger injury.. lots of stuff happening but in the end life is life. we always need to be moving forward and gym girl i’m making my move..
goodnight world; lifes good.
December 27th 2018
hmmm.. i don’t know how i feel, i know one thing i did feel though.. my heart literally sunk in happiness for my old-family friend maybe even cousin long time high school camp buddy girl whose been through a lot and she’s now engaged to her long time boyfriend - someone who she really fought for and that i admire about her and respect that about her.
maybe’ she hasn’t treated people the right way, cut them off, severed ties, no communication, gone behind their backs.. but maybe thats extreme she’s got it and it makes my heart just that much happier; i hope i can always have this feeling of happiness as a reminder to pursue things and go; don’t give up continue to fight it might be rough but always think about what can happen if you push through.. consistency over perfection, nothings perfect but be consistent in what you do.. who you are.. it will reinforce yourself damn.. i’m happy for her.
seeing all of this happen before my eyes is important, i have these spurts of man i need to do something and some time will past and i’ll be back to normal.. but lets not be normal and accept this new feeling and taking it - running with it because if i fall back to who i was before then i’ll always just be me..
its going to take a lot of change within myself for me to be a better person.. skills i need to pick up. the view is you’re an adult and you should have things together.. build yourself, no one’s going to build anything for you; take action, i know its something im always on the fence with because i don’t ever really know whats going to happen and that scares me.. after chatting with ericko it was a refreshing and punch in the mouth that i don’t take enough action hes a guy that goes 100% into everything he does and doesn’t even 2nd guess himself.
there’s a lot.. lots of reflecting over the past bit i’ve been just barring myself in outs of mindless things to just past the time and i dont think i know its not the right approach and i’ve continued to be this way because of all the change thats happened within the past couple of years and i’ve been stagnant with it and holding on to the past; no, thats not right i shouldn’t blame it on that, its really on myself for not knowing any better, when deep down i knew what i should be doing really, but i’ve just been avoiding it and i shouldn’t be avoiding it any longer. i know, it won’t be easy, there will be tough patches but me fighting through it will be the most important thing,
everything moving forward will be important because its going to really effect and really speak about who i am, who i’m going to be in the near future and with the current me there are things i love but there are things i can be better, i should be better, will be better.
deep down, i don’t want this to be a one day realization like oh yeah im feeling the motivation now. no i want this to be a new thought within myself, training discipline of who i want to be, where i want to be, and who i’m going to be.. i’m going to end it here, so goodnight world its been dandy and super happy once again for kathy nguyen.
ps. romantique by kazam worked wonders tonight what hit on selecting play on a playlist on spotify.
December 25th & 26th 2018
merry christmas, had some dinners, got some gifts.. really chilling day and i know what i need to do for this up and coming year and building on for the rest of my life.. that is all goodnight world.
oh yeah went snowboarding the next day.. its chil..